Does not Apply
by Cleverly Named
Summary: Dean goes to hell as Heaven has planned. Gabriel decides to step in before Pam's eyes are liquefied. And yet somehow there is still a summoning in a barn. Except this time, Castiel prefers to come barreling through the roof. Guardian!Castiel fic.


The Impala rumbled down the otherwise deserted road. Dean disliked taking the more popular roads with all their traffic and construction, this way he got to choose the speed. And if there happened to be a higher chance of a hunt on a deserted back road at night, well, that was just a perk.

Sam slouched in the passenger seat, trying to fit into a space that couldn't and hadn't comfortably accommodated him since his early teens. Dean debated seeing if he could use Bobby's welding equipment to modify the seat to account for Sam's freakish height. He shook off the idea. Nah, it was funnier to watch the sasquatch squirm.

Sam glanced up from the map he was examining, trying to veil his eyes with lashes. Dean hated it when Sam tried to be sneaky with his worry, it just made him more obvious. The kid had never been able to hide anything from Dean. Well, except Stanford. But Dean tried not to think about that.

Sam took a bracing breath. Dean beat him there. "Don't."

"You don't even-"

"I know exactly what you want, Samantha. You wanna talk. About _feelings_." Dean sneered at the wheel. "And I don't. I'm back, Bobby and Pam say it's just me here in this meat suit, and I really don't care what got me out."

"You may want to reconsider your stance on that, kiddo."

When he unexpectedly slammed on the brakes, Dean and Sam pitched forward narrowly missing hitting the dash.

"What.." Dean turned, snarling "Have I told you about doing that? You wanna talk, you do it the human way. ON THE PHONE."

"Huh." Gabriel mused, unfazed and relaxed sprawled over the Impala's black leather. "And here I thought that humans spoke face to face."

Or would you prefer this?"

Gabriel's lips didn't move from their ever present smirk. "Get the hell out of my head." Dean bit out.

"What exactly should we be reconsidering?" Sam interjected, stamping out the fight before it could begin. Gabriel's face, normally so jovial you just want to smash it into any available hard surface, froze and contorted into something alien. "I think we need to look further into what pulled Dean-o out of hell."

"Why?" Dean shook his head. "You were the one who stopped the psychic mumbo jumbo Pamela was doing."

"Because you were going about it wrong. Directly looking at anything that has the sheer power required to drag a soul from the Pit, recreate a body and successfully re-house the soul… At best it would have burned the eyes from her skull. At worst… well. There are more hells than those described in the gospel."

Sam narrowed his eyes and left that thought alone for a moment. "Then what do you suggest, Gabriel? We send an invitation?"

Gabriel gave him a bland smile. "Something like that."

"How bout we don't and never pick up the subject again?" Dean slowly got that car moving on the road again.

"Dean, we need to know what got you out and why. Supernatural things aren't known for giving out freebie resurrections." Sam said, quickly enough that Dean knew the words were rehearsed. "Sammy." Dean stopped, collecting his thoughts, willing them to form a more compelling argument than 'Because I said so'. "Look, we've got more important things on our plate right now than who busted me out. The seals are breaking-"

"Oh come off it, Dean, you've never been one to blindly follow orders.." Sam trailed off. "Unless it was from Dad. Did Dad somehow know about this?" Sam snarled, fury gathering.

"No." Dean cut him off sharply. "No, Dad, wasn't involved, he didn't know." Dean firmly ignored the events in Stull Cemetery and forced sincerity into his voice. "No, Sam."

Sam stared for a moment and slowly nodded. Dean was glad Sam hadn't seen Gabriel's displeased expression. Dean quickly shared a look with the angel through the mirror, asking. He didn't want Sam to worry, to doubt their father's memory.

Gabriel gave a sharp nod. "There's…" He hesitated. "There's been something wrong in heaven for quite sometime. I can't quite name it. A feeling perhaps? I don't know, but it's foul. There is something desperately wrong in heaven, and it has started coming to a head since you were raised Dean. The angels in charge of getting you out of hell say there was a siege upon the gates to save you, but I was there the last time Hell's Gates were opened. I remember the aftermath. It wouldn't be so easily cleaned up. I…" Gabriel's face contorted, almost as if the expression intended didn't translate into human terms. "I don't think there was a siege at all."

Sam's brow furrowed. "So, you don't think Heaven got Dean out of the Pit? That they're just taking the credit?" Dean tensed at the wheel.

Gabriel chose his words carefully. "I don't want to discount heaven entirely, there could be some rogue elements, but the strength needed to enter and exit Hell, not counting healing Dean, ..whoever did this has got to be hurting right about now. And none of the soldiers I've seen in Heaven were in that kind of condition."

"Condition?" Dean echoed. "Yes." Gabriel kept his face bland.

Dean turned to stare fully at the angel. "Care to elaborate?"

Gabriel's face took on a pinched nature. "I know you two view angels as your own personal fix it option, but there are some things that are stretching it, even for our strength."

"So they're somewhere taking it easy for a while." Dean's shoulders relaxed and he faced the road fully again.

"Not what I said, human." Gabriel looked the closest to cross that either brother had ever seen. "If it was an angel that did this, and if it was sanctioned by heaven, there would be a severely distressed angel healing in the Garden right now. There is not. So either A.) it wasn't an angel who did this, B.) the angel is dead or C…." He trailed off.

"It wasn't sanctioned by heaven and somewhere out there is a hurt angel." Dean whispered.

"Yea. " Gabriel opened his mouth in several aborted movements.

"Heaven is claiming Dean's resurrection as it's work, right? " Sam continued, barely registering Gabriel's nod. "What would be the protocol if the angel hadn't made it? Would there be an announcement?"

Gabriel nodded. "Normally we feel when another angel has expired, but I was on Earth. I might not have felt it. I can check around."

"And if he's dead-"

"He's not dead." Dean interrupted Sam sharply. "I know he's not dead."

Sam and Gabriel inspected Dean. His gaze didn't leave the road and his grip was white on the steering wheel. "What do you mean, Dean?" Sam said softly.

Dean pursed his lips and caught all the words that tried to escape. He bottled it down. "Nothing, Sammy."

"Dean, you told me you didn't remember anything. Do you remember what got you out?" Do you remember Hell? He left unsaid.

Dean remained silent. "I can ask around, just in case." Gabe said quietly and took wing, leaving that disquieting absence of air signature to angels.

The Impala drove on, one less passenger, but the weight it carried was no less.


End file.
